College diaries #4-'Hit or Miss'

14 years back on this very day, as the day dawned upon me I was wary of the fact that the third year engineering exams were round the corner. In line with the normal trend I had been playing the fool all through the semester and was trying to conjure up a miracle at the last moment. There was a campus recruitment drive* scheduled by one of the leading software companies of the country in a college in the outskirts of the city.Thanks to my crappy CGPA  I wasn’t eligible for attending a good number of these drives but by some strange twist of fate I was eligible for this one. My dilemma was real, on one hand I could just let this opportunity pass and spend the day immersed in studies adding some serious muscle into my already derailed exam preparations. On the flip side I could very much use this as a welcome break from the rut. The college was situated in a hitherto less explored part of the city right in the midst of a number of plantations. The bike ride through these scenic locales would be refreshing if I could tag along with my friends for company.The Long drive of around 30 odd kms was a turn off because that would mean I would be super tired which will in effect render the day useless.. At that point of time little did I know that I would end up in Bombay one day where even the distance from Kandivali(the place where I lived) to South Bombay was 34 km.

*This is an event where companies would visit the Engineering colleges and conduct recruitment tests and interviews for the final year students . The selected ones would also be given a post dated offer letter with a joining date after their final year exams. 

I called up my manfriday, MC making him an offer to tag along but on one condition, I would come back the moment the first round of tests are done. I told him in case you got selected, you were on your own. Nothing prepared us for what was to follow, we were greeted by a gigantic crowd of around 2500 eager students. Phew! I thought to myself, that meant that I could go back home by mid day without losing much time. After the initial formalities we were ushered into the exam hall.Since it was an objective exam I played the game “inkie pinkie ponkey father had a donkey” and came out.

While our papers were being evaluated we decided to make most of the time and just roam around the place since we hadn’t been to this part of the town earlier. I was getting impatient after  a couple of hours since there was no news on our results. I told MC that come what may I am leaving in an hour.All hell broke loose when we made our way back to the College since the results had been declared .I was bemused by the entire spectacle where a jostling crowd was braying for your blood to catch a glimpse of their names in the notice board.  

I didn’t even bother to check and was ready to leave when my best friend Kripa barged in on me with a big grin on her face. I assumed that she must have cleared courtesy. She was one of the toppers of our class. She excitedly announced that both our names were there and without wasting time we should get ready for the next round of Group discussions. When I told her to cut the crap and stop joking her face turned into beet red in anger. By now the crowd in front of the notice board had thinned down. Not because I didn’t trust her,but being a doubting Thomas I went and checked out the results myself. The blood drained out of my face when I realised that the extra large smile on her face was due to the fact that both of us got selected .

Now it has to be understood that at that point of time almost all my friends were going to coaching classes for aptitude test preparations,group discussions, mock Interviews, CAT preparation and what not. On the other hand all I wanted to do was to catch the first train to Delhi after my last Engineering exam to pursue my life long dream. This would enable me to start coaching for the UPSC civil services exam(Elite civil services exam in India). I had never prepared for such an eventuality of cracking an aptitude test so much so that I had no idea of what a group discussion was in the first place.

Not to worry, my womanfriday had taken charge of the situation. Reminiscent of the countless times during our Engineering days where she had bailed me out of many a tricky situation. This would range from when I would be banging my head trying to cram a software program in the morning of  a practical exam to painstakingly explaining an important essay topic minutes before a theory exam,you name it she has done it all.For the next 15-20 odd minutes Kripa was briefing me with great gutso on the do’s and don’t’s of a Group discussion. All that I can recollect at this point of time was the takeaway that “a group discussion is not a debate”.

I went on to the hall that was assigned to me for the next around. There were about 15 odd students in my group. I was stumped to realise that it was in no way a discussion at all but rather we were being treated like school kids. A question was posed to us and all of us were made to answer the question one after the other. I was at a huge disadvantage here because I was seated towards the end of the circle, so by the time it reached me I would have no new points to be added to the topic.Below is the excerpt from the 2 questions that I was asked and my corresponding response.

Qn: The Challenges of the IT industry

My Response: One of the biggest challenges that the IT industry is facing right now is that they are concentrated in the big cities like Bangalore,Chennai, Hyderabad etc. As a result of this metro cities are getting congested.

Trick qn: If one fine day you find out you find out that all the coconut trees in Kerala have disappeared what would you do?

My Response: If one fine day you find out that all the coconut trees in Kerala have vanished, no big deal rubber plantations and pepper trees would take their place. Further, the income generated by the coconut trees would be available from the latter.

I was quite upbeat as I walked out of the room and was loitering around the corridor when I ran into Kripa yet again,she asked me if I was selected. I had no idea, I rushed back to the venue just in time to hear my name being called out. Shit was getting real! I thought to myself. I was entering into unchartered territory now because up next was the Technical round interview. At that point of time it was a dampner to know that Kripa had not made the cut. She wished me luck and made a graceful exit, I was on my own now.

As usual I had no clue of what was to happen next, without goofing around I decided to get on to work. As we were escorted to the catchment area for the scheduled interviews I started to call up my classmates one by one who had just attended a Tech interview for another IT major,the previous week.Brick by brick I built my repertoire for the interview that was to follow. My heart sank when I saw one of the toppers of our class walking out in tears from one such interview.Some random guy came out hurling the choicest abuses after realising that the interview he had been to was too hot to handle. The good looking chic sitting near me remarked that he was the topper of her class. She had a disarming smile, I made a mental note of getting her number before I left for the day. Witnessing all these scenes I was starting to get jittery. If the topper of my class cannot handle the technical round, what am I even doing here?. 

I walked in confidently to be greeted by a panel of three. I was bombarded about every damn thing mentioned in my resume. Questions were thrown at me left,right and centre all around the park which included DOS,windows,C, C++,SQL/PL SQL among a few.I was asked about my favourite subject to which I replied “Compiler Design”, a volley of questions followed. The irony was that Compiler design was a subject that I loathed the most but for the past couple of days I was sparring with the subject so everything was fresh on my mind. This went on for a good 45 minutes . I had mixed feelings about the interview; it was only then that the gravity of the situation started to sink in. I was totally drained out by the end of the interview. My throat was parched, I suddenly felt tired, it had been a long day. MC came to my rescue with water and got me some snacks. It helped me calm down a bit. God bless him. Dusk turned into night as I was shortlisted for the next HR round.

As fatigue set in I analysed my whole situation I was in right now. I realised that this was now a home stretch for me. If I could back myself well with my gift of the gab I should be able to sail through.The heavy lifting was already done, all I had to do now was to keep my head above the water. I walked in confidently to be greeted by another panel of three. I remember there was a North Indian woman among them. The reason why I remember her so vividly is that she switched to hindi when she realised that I had spent my childhood in the northern part of the country. We did speak for a bit in Hindi.I had nothing to lose at this point of time; in fact I was on fire. I could see that they were particularly impressed with the way I handled the stress interview. I knew I had made an indelible mark in their minds. This went on for another 45 minutes,at the end of it I was totally zoned out.

Adrenaline had slowly started to kick in and the agonising wait for the final results was starting to get unbearable.Seconds seemed like minutes,minutes seemed like hours and hours seemed like a lifetime. All sorts of thoughts were running through my mind  “Will this be a case of too near yet too far ? What will happen if I lose from here?”. I tried to remain calm and said to myself that whatever happens from here on I should be proud of the fact that I had completed all the rounds with the least amount of preparation. It was close to midnight now.

There was pin drop silence when a staff had walked in to announce the results, the tension was palpable in the air. One by one the names were being called, there was absolute pandemonium, the ones who were selected had already started celebrating. The rest of the folks were straining their ears lest they miss their names being announced. With a heavy heart I realised that my name was not there. You could witness jubilation and dejection all on a single frame in that room. I congratulated my 2 classmates and lined up to exit the hall. I held my head high as I walked out, it was a job well done. I consoled myself thinking that in the morning when I woke up I had only wanted to appear for the exam and leave but look at me now.

Another staff member came running to the hall saying that no one should leave the hall because there was a supplementary list of successful candidates. Due to some miscommunication this was not included in the original list. I was at my wits end, I was too tired to go back and all of us crowded at the exit of the classroom. Another list was being read out. It was absolute chaos, I steeled my heart and detached myself from reality  . Out of nowhere I heard my name being announced. I was shell shocked for a split second. I even went to the extent of thinking that it could very well be a figment of my imagination where my tired mind was playing games with me. But fact is stranger than fiction,I had pulled out a rabbit out of the hat yet again.

I had gone numb because I was totally worn out beyond the point of no return. My heart craved to jump up in joy and punch the air like my sporting idol Sachin Tendulkar but at that point of time I just stood in stoic silence like a monk. My classmates patted me on the back on my way out,everything appeared to be very surreal to me as I was on my out. As I came out of the hall I hugged MC. This bloke even though eliminated in the first round had stayed back to lend me moral support well past midnight. From then on he became my lucky mascot.As a matter of fact whenever he has accompanied me I have scored well in my University exams.

As I came out into the open I looked up, thanked the heavens and said a word to my Dad. Boy,he would have been delighted if he had been around.I picked up my phone which was out of battery and dialed home. My brother answered since my mom was cooped up in the prayer room all along. I was greeted with jubilation at the other end as I broke the news and my phone went dead. While approaching the college gates just before dawn was breaking out I couldn’t help to contrast the moment that I entered these very gates yesterday morning and this very moment when I was on my way out. 

As the bike picked up speed I could feel the nip in the air as a result of which my teeth started to clatter.I felt blessed by the warmth of some great friends around me, be it MC who was riding pillion at the moment or Kripa who had gone down all guns blazing to handhold me through unknown territory in the earlier part of the day. I was focusing intently on the taillights of the bike in front of me for fear of getting lost in the wee hours of the day. It was Jibin, one of my classmates who had tagged along with me and had cracked the interview.Friendships are indeed one of the cornerstones of the foundation on top of which we build our entire lives.   

Check out a similar posts of mine 

College Diaries #3, College Diaries #1, College Diaries #2, College Diaries #3, Life has come a full circle

Memories #11-”We are the underdogs”

I had been an average student until my tenth grade when all hell broke loose. Everyone around me was going berserk trying to impress upon me how crucial that year was going to be in my life. The lie that we were all told as kids which in no way is going to stop us from telling it to our kids as well. Something had definitely changed in me even before I moved into my class 10. I still remember vividly when I woke up at 2 AM in the morning to prep for my Physics exam in the 9th grade. For the record that was the first time I took a power nap in my life because by 7 AM I had a throbbing headache. This was only a precursor to the pressure cooker years that lay ahead of me. Now coming back to my 10 th grade. The first term exam was over and we were getting our graded answer scripts back. I was cruising my way towards my first ever distinction(80%) . It was not smooth sailing all the way. There were speed bumps which included my pathetic marks in Maths. But that didn’t stop me, I had scored a near cent percent in my History,Geography and scored heavily in my language papers.This was my first lesson on maximising my strengths and minimising my weaknesses.By some twist of fate, it all boiled down to the last Malayalam supplementary paper where I had to only score 37/50 to reach the magical mark. It was a difficult proposition but achievable I felt. Let me be frank with you my hopes were sky high when it came to achieving the milestone. 

At some point of time all of us would have imagined receiving the Oscar and delivering the acceptance speech. For me I had already started visualising as to what I would do when my Malayalam marks would be announced. I would pump my fists in the air in jubilation a.k.a my sporting hero Sachin Tendulkar who would do the same when he got a wicket . I had played and replayed the scene so many times in my mind that it was now muscle memory. 

Finally the D-day arrived, Mr Anil Kumar came in with the papers. The tension was palpable, the air around me was getting heavy and I couldn’t breathe. He read my name and announced my marks. Time froze for a moment as my heart skipped a beat.Quite often you yearn to hear something and choose to hear selectively as to what you want to hear. I was immobile for a moment because my heart was telling me something diametrically opposite to what my brain was processing at that very moment.For a split second I was torn between the two and I got suspended from reality.My world came crashing down around me.I had failed to make the cut by a mere 10 marks.My name was called again, my neighbor the effervescent Jose Mathew patted my shoulder in consolation and nudged me. We were seated on the last bench at that point of time. Even today I can very much feel the angst in the pit of my stomach when I recount my walk of ‘shame’ to collect my answer scripts. It is hard to even imagine my state of mind at that point of time if this can have such an effect on me even after 2 decades.With a heavy heart, I trudged back to my seat, Jose Mathew gave me a hug to reassure me that this was not the end of the world, God bless him. 

In a parallel universe during my Sunday school, this ‘walk’ was repeated but with a totally different outcome.It so happened that in the past 5 years since I joined the St Anne’s Church, Trivandrum I have never topped the exams. They were always reserved for 2 girls of the class and I would always rear end them. As a matter of fact this went on for a few years until I gave up. On a lazy Sunday morning I was preoccupied with what had happened in school the previous week. The thought of missing out on my much coveted milestone was weighing down heavily on my heart . I was barely paying attention when my first semester marks were being announced in class. I was bemused to note that my marks were greeted with applause as I walked in to collect the paper. At that point of time I was thinking to myself that I would save the theatrics for until the marks of the erstwhile toppers were declared. But it turned out that I had breached the citadel and ended up being the topper. Further, I  went on to write the Archdiocese exam only meant for the toppers of every class of our church. Incidentally my wife also was there to write that very exam representing our church . But that is another story ,I have written about it in another blog post of mine(Memories #5-How I Met your Mother).      

Right at the onset of my term 2 exam, thanks to my crappy grades in Maths a distinction was out of the window. At the end of it I was dumbfounded when I discovered that I was only 7 shy of the magical mark. As always Social Studies and language papers had done some heavy lifting but at the end it was not good enough to get me over the line. The heartbreak was a lot lesser this time around since I had toughened up after the first instance. 

Hardly 3 months to go for the boards, I had a lot to ponder upon with regards to the reasons as to why the forbidden fruit had slipped out of my reach for the second time in a row. I did the first ever Root cause analysis (RCA) in my life. The writing was loud and clear on the wall. There is a limit to which I can maximise my strengths,I couldn’t continue to ignore my weakness. I had to put in a lot of effort in Maths to dig myself out of this well. I decided to take the bull by its horns and give it my all to tackle the situation. What followed was one of the most focussed and disciplined epochs of my life. Day in day out every day until the board exam I used to spend at least 2 hours in Maths even if it meant that I didn’t get a chance to study anything else on that very day. This would have been the first time that I pulled out a rabbit out of the hat. This focussed and disciplined approach came in quite handy later in life while I was preparing for the UPSC Civil Services in Delhi a few years down the line. I might not remember how much I scored in the Maths exam during my 10th boards but I very well remember what it took to get there. I just checked the scanned copy of my tenth mark list and for the record it is  95/100.

It didn’t end there,I went on to score 92% in my tenth boards.I was just 5 short of being the topper of the class. Quite often in life I have pondered upon as to how cool it would have been to get those 5 odd marks. I could have gotten my name inscribed in the Roll of Honour at the hallowed halls of my alma mater Loyola School, Trivandrum. When I look back now I think that getting my name on that wall would have accounted for an ordinary story. One day I will tell my kid the story of the underdog who went on to slay a lot of dragons in his life with sheer grit and determination,drawing upon the lessons learnt in that very year.

If you liked this check out a similar blog post of mine Hit or Miss

Memories #10 -Guava vs Mango

Having studied in a boys only School for the last 7 years I was quite excited to be part of a mixed college during my Engineering. Thanks to my primary school being a mixed school I was not much tongue tied like my peers who had been schooled in boys schools their entire lifetime. Right from the onset, due to my easy going nature and the charming guy that I am, I managed to make quite a few friends among girls . I was particularly fond of a girl who was educated in a Convent school and was in the same boat as me. I still remember the way I used to blush whenever she used to call me in my landline number at home. My mom or brother used to pick up the phone and shout her name announcing that I have a call from her. If it was my brother he will exaggerate a bit by singing her name.Incidentally she was the first female to call me at my home so she was someone special. Before you guys jump to the conclusion that I am from the stone age let me reassure you that mobile phones came in a little later than that.

It so happened that there was a guava tree at my house which was pretty big at that point of time and gave us a steady supply of Guavas all year long.All through our childhood the availability of the fruit was quite high that oth me and my brother were sort of getting tired eating guavas .There had been a huge guava tree at my grandmother's palatial mansion named after her where we had stayed previously. At any time of the day whenever pangs of hunger hit us we used to scramble up and gorge a couple of guavas right on the tree itself. Before the naysayers(including my wife as well) start to point out that it should be atleast washed before consumption, in my defense I was too lazy to even do that(my wife would be totally nodding her head in agreement at this point) .There was no Kurkure or Lays at that time and it was fun to say the least.

Now coming back to the original story I used to take guavas to college and promptly hand it over to this female friend of mine who would distribute it to everyone around. This started to become a routine and naturally caught the imagination of the entire class. Understandably  we were inundated with a number of prying questions as to if there was anything going on between us. As always I used to shrug these questions off nonchalantly with a smile. 

This continued well into the second year of college, the guava tree grew in size and its roots posed an impending problem since it started to encroach into the foundations of our house. With a heavy heart after much deliberation we cut down the tree. Ironically this was the same time that differences cropped up between us and we  drifted apart from each other in the remaining part of our college lives. A mango sapling was planted in its place. 

It so happened that my two year old son loves mangoes, he takes after his mother who is crazy about mangoes. I recollect vividly,the first mango season after marriage in Bombay, my wife went bonkers after sampling the best Alphonso mangoes that were on offer. In all the 5 years that we were there every mango season she used to delve into the finest alphonso mangoes without fail. Influenced very much by his mother, mango was the first fruit that he tasted and ever since he has totally fallen in love with the king of fruits.

 Years passed by and an equally gigantic mango tree took the place of the guava tree in question. In the Initial years the mango tree used to only grow on size but was not bearing any fruits as expected. I will be honest that a thought had occurred in our minds to cut it down but we junked the idea when it started to bear fruit. In the last few years I have only heard that we used to get a good number of mangoes from this tree.Since I was not living in my home town for a good part of the last decade I have never tasted these mangoes.

One week prior to the lock down being announced we had reached Trivandrum from Cochin where we currently live. We have been here for close to 2 months now and as luck would have it this coincided with the fruiting season of the very mango tree in my backyard. Every weekend I religiously pluck mangoes for my little one from the terrace of my house. My brother and mother witness this spectacle with great amusement because of the fact that I had been a couch potato all my life. On a lighter note during our growing up years my younger brother who is the live wire of the two never gave me a chance to be the maverick. Moreover,I was happy being myself  and was not complaining about it.

Earlier whenever I used to see my son eating mangoes I always wondered if we did a huge disservice to him by leaving Bombay and coming back to Kerala . He would have had a whale of a time just like his mother gorging into the Alphonso mangoes every mango season. These days my heart fills with filial pride when I see my son savoring the fruits of my labour. Today while I was plucking mangoes I reminisced of the Guava tree in the same spot, in a span of 12 years the guava tree had metamorphosed into a mango tree.

The Euro project

Year 1997

In my grade 7 just before the Onam holidays(term break) our Geography teacher Miss Renjini asked us to prepare a project on the continent Europe.During my holidays only because of the fact that it was my favourite subject I decided to work on it. I wouldn’t have moved my little finger if it had been Maths, a subject that I hated the most . My likeness for the subject didn’t end there throughout my school days. I have always been a straight A’s guy in Geography and never scored less than 90% in any of the exams. It is a pity that I had to discontinue my favourite subject by grade 10 . Post that it was the usual story of any kid at that point of time where you slogged for either Medicine or Engineering . Eventually I ended up in Computer Science Engineering, the nightmare of Maths followed me well into my 3rd year. But I had the last laugh when after 7 years of passing out of school I got another shot at Geography when I chose it as the optional for the UPSC Civil Services exam(the competitive exam for selection into the elite Civil services in India). During the time when I used to spend hours on it many a times it felt as if I had lost touch with the subject. To cut a long story short I had my heart’s desire for Geography by the end of it all.

Year 2019

After living outside my home state for more than a decade I was elated when I finally came back to Kerala.Little did I realise that my first trip to Europe was very much in the cards. Even before I could settle down I was asked to get ready to leave for Germany. 

I was dead tired after spending more than 26 hours in a couple of flights and  airports when I landed in Dussledorf.  I just wanted to complete the immigration as fast as possible and go sleep.On top of it the weather was unforgiving, it was cold and rainy. With dreary eyes I boarded the taxi and was on my way to the place where I was put up. I had dozed off because of the exhaustion but woke up with a start when I realised that we were travelling in the Autobahn. It was the term for the highway system in Germany which I had stumbled upon for the first time years back while reading about Europe sacrificing the game of cricket being played in my backyard.

After a hectic  first week at work in Essen I was totally zoned out by the weekend . On a chilly Saturday evening I set out to explore the place around me with no particular destination in mind . After boarding a couple of trains I finally  got down from the U train at Heinrich Heine allee. Young men and women already in the party mood were thronging the Altstadt as I walked around soaking in the atmosphere. After walking a bit through the teeming crowds I finally reached the banks of the Rhine. The river sprang into life for the bespectacled 12 year old boy in me who had been marking the river in blue on his map of Europe more than 2 decades back. It would be an understatement if I said that I was excited at that moment of time, I was ecstatic to put it mildly . 

As I scampered through the banks of the river excitedly crossing the bridge across the river a couple of times, it felt majestic to watch the sun go down from there. The crowd was swelling as night set in and you could feel the unbridled energy in the air. In between all this I heard  a feminine voice of a mother berating her toddler in Malayalam(my native language) to hold her hands lest she gets lost in the crowd. In midst of all this at that instant pangs of loneliness hit me as I long for the company of my wife and son back home in Kerala. With a heavy heart I trudge along, it was difficult to find a table in the umpteen bars overlooking the Rhine. I felt on top of the world as I sipped my Scotch and listened to the crowd hustle past me as I was lost deep in thought.I was reminiscing on the fact that years back not even in my wildest dreams would I have imagined such a scene while diligently pouring through my Geography textbooks day in and day out.The scene was straight out of a fairy tale for the 12 year old kid in me .

During one of the subsequent weekends I had visited Antwerp in Belgium which is in the vicinity. The fact was that I met a friend of mine for the very first time after school and the irony was that our meeting point was a bar overlooking the River Scheldt which was very much part of our school Euro project. Anto had a look of bewilderment in his face when I narrated to him about the Geography project that we had submitted years back. I tried to jog his memory a bit but finally gave up when he nodded his head in exasperation.He said that maybe he was a bad student to have no recollection of what I was talking about.It will be interesting to note how many of my school friends remember this Euro project once they read this. For me of all the projects that I worked on, Europe would undoubtedly be one of my favourite projects as a kid with a beautiful memory associated with it during adulthood.