Memories #2 A tribute to my Father

I pen these lines on the eve of the 20th Death Anniversary of My Dad Percival Bruno D'Cruz

I never knew Indian Police Service(IPS) was such a big deal when I was a kid and lived in Gwalior ,Madhya Pradesh. But later in life when I slogged it out for the UPSC Civil services exam I understood what a great thing it was. He had cracked the exam when he was 21 years of age and here I was with the best coaching in the country and a few years older didn't get to crack it. It speaks volumes of his character.

I remember him to be a strict disciplinarian and a total no nonsense guy. He would never take no for an answer from me. He was very particular that I needed to speak English well. I always used to converse with him in English never do i remember talking to him in Malayalam or Hindi. He inculcated in me a very strong value system. I came across one of the letters my Dad sent to my Mom when she was in Kerala. It goes something like this "Angelo the other day told me that he was having the General Science exam as oral but it later turned out to be a written exam when I inquired about it with his teacher I was told that it was never been oral. Angelo had lied to me because he did not want me to make him write. I gave him nice beating and made him kneel in front of the Sacred heart and made him say 10 Hail Mary. He later cried and said he wanted to go to Mamma ". That was how he taught me about honesty just imagine I was only a boy of 6 years then. Just tell me how many parents would do that today at least I wouldn't do it. It was such a novel way of teaching a kid on the importance of being honest.

I have heard from his peers in service from that he was an honest and upright Officer. Everyone who knew him has maintained that he was an exceptionally bright person and was very well read. I have heard from uncle Berky(my Dad's younger brother) that he used to read even the newspaper in which the sugar was wrapped. He always used to encourage me to read even as a kid and I owe my reading habit to him. He was also a very God fearing man.


I had the opportunity of reading his College journal and it gave me an insight into the person he was during his late teens.As a young boy in college he had the same apprehensions that any boy of his age had. He always had the hunger to suceed inspite of all odds and excel in life. What impressed me most was that he was equally good in both curricular as well as co curricular activities.The stack of certificates and a good number of trophies at home bear testimony to this. The other day my younger brother was telling me that he was thinking of quitting the college football team so that he can concentrate more on his studies I wonder what my Dad's take would be on that .He was an excellent orator and Ambrose takes off from my Dad on this regard



I remember reading a letter my Grandmother Mrs Lilly D'Cruz sent to my Dad when he was undergoing training in Sardar Vallabhai Patel National Police Academy,Hyderabad. She adresses him as my Dear Police Son and goes on with all the news at Tangassery. And I can't fail to notice how much  pride the mother takes on what her son has become that is something unmatched. It might be close to what my mother was feeling at the book launch of her younger son. I don't know. I recall Uncle Berty(my dad's younger brother) telling me how humble and down to earth their parents were. This humility is something that I have seen in my father as well.I remember with gratitude my Grandparents  Ambrose J DCruz and Lily D'Cruz here.I also would like to state that he was a family man and a God fearing individual.


During my adult life I have always wanted to hear the view point of my Dad on the everyday challenges  of  life, I really miss the man to man talk.  When you are a kid you don't realize what a big loss it is for you. It was the same with me I missed my Dad the most during my teenage years but hats off to my Mom and everyone who helped me through those tricky years.



I would sign off by commending my mother Adil D'Cruz who has done an excellent job in raising her two sons with great fortitude despite losing her husband at a very young age. If it had't been for her we would never be what we are today.


P.S:It was my Mom's idea that I need to write something on my Dad on account of his 20th Anniversary

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College Diaries #3

This post is not exactly a about my college days but my experiences when I was the Placement Officer of a well-known Engineering College in Kerala. It is a blow by blow account of a day that would change the lives of  few of my students forever and a memorable one for me as well.

It all started off with a recruitment drive of well-known Software Company which was held on another college a good 4 hour drive away from the institution where I was working in. I embarked on a journey with 84 of my wards in 2 buses.  The first day was not that eventful it was the usual entry test and after everything we were back by evening to college . By night around 9 PM I got a call saying that 42 of my students had cleared the test and had to report for interview the next day. I dragged along a couple of my students from the Men’s hostel  and went onto the college building to check out who all were there. Incidentally these two guys were among the brightest of the group and I was almost certain that they would be among the 42 .They left their supper midway and came with me saying that they were all very tensed up. We started going through the list to our shock these guys names weren’t there.  After the initial setback I got back to the business of informing everyone who had cleared. Owing to the unprecedented number of students appearing for interview I decided to try my luck to get a college bus arranged, with a bit of coaxing and cajoling got the job done.

So the next day we I set out along with 42 of my wards with dreamy eyes early morning. I knew this could be the defining day of my stint over here and also on the lives of the students with me. I decided to make use of the long journey and started giving tips to my students that I had gathered on course of time as I had also been a candidate for a number of campus recruitment drives when I was in college. I had also managed to do a one on one with a good number of students. What I found out was that here were a bunch of kids most of who were going for maybe their first interview and were a confused lot and inexperienced in this sort of thing.  I managed to dispel a lot of their fears and also other myths associated with this entire process. The biggest challenge that I faced was to boost the confidence and morale of the bunch, to an extent I was successful but I had my limitation since it was taxing on my part to reach out to each of the 42 students.  We reached almost in time and the procedures of the day commenced.

There was hardly anything for me to do as the registration and the introduction about the company was going on. I was hanging around the picturesque campus and making the most of my “me time”. By afternoon the students were lined up for the first round of interviews. The tension was palpable on my student’s faces. I decided to lighten the mood a bit and started to chat up with everyone to ease their nerves. I came across a student of mine whom I had not noticed much till now she had an air of confidence in her and had exceptional communication skills. It was a whiff of fresh air among all the students I had met previously met .The moment I spoke to her I knew she would be selected (eventually she did make the cut). All I did was give her a pep talk and she was ready for the kill.  It also made me realize that I hardly knew the bunch of kids who I was in charge of.  As I had mentioned earlier it is manually impossible to get to know each and every one of them.  This incident was a catalyst it set off something on me and I went around trying to reach out to each and everyone present there. I knew that if I could give a final push almost everyone would be able to make the cut.

I came across this guy who was very low in confidence and was perspiring I took him for a stroll and told him to imagine that you are on a date (I knew that his interviewer was this female) go ahead and work your charm on this female don’t think about anything else. That’s all the fuel he needed and he went ahead to bag the job.  Then there were this couple of students of mine who were on their heavier side incidentally their interviewer was also like them. I told them to imagine that they were in a boxing match and told them that  I wanted them  to come out as the victors they went on to win the title. Then there was this student of mine who assisted me in my activities of the placement cell which I headed in college. I had never seen her so tensed I told her to just enjoy the process and the rest will fall in place she made it count.

Like this I went around the interview location giving pep talks to one and all that were under me and giving specific inputs regarding the interview that I could gather from the ones who were done with it. Physically it was very demanding at the end of it I believe that I had at least talked once to all who were present there. The instances that I described above are limited to how much I can recall as this had happened more than 2 years ago.

After all this the wait for the results began the air was filled tension everyone including me were at our wits end.  It was almost 7 PM earlier on the day most of us had gathered in our college as early as 4 am and that coupled with the travelling had left us really jaded. The wait continued endlessly as it is supposed to be. Finally the results were out 36 out of the 42 who were called for interview on that day had made the cut.  There was jubilation all over and everyone was busy congratulating each other it was a job well done in the end. I on my part was really relieved it was a real humbling experience for me. To be delivering on your own is one thing but making others deliver is a totally different ball game altogether.

On our way back we had a whale of a time everyone was celebrating and I too joined in without much ado and believe me I never had so much fun since my college days. Many of my wards conveyed their astonishment to me after seeing how well I gelled with them on their celebrations. It was a memorable day for me .The joy of seeing the ones you are responsible for achieve something is truly amazing and the feeling I had at that time was unmatched which I will cherish for the rest of my lifetime.

  Check out a similar posts of mine College Diaries #1, College Diaries #2, College Diaries #4, 

Life has come a full circle

College Diaries #2

DISCLAIMER :This blog is based loosely on my Engineering college days of University College of Engineering, Trivandrum,Kerala during the period 2003-2007 . This has to be viewed as a piece of art rather than a commentary of my college life . At times I have taken the writer's liberty at the sametime I have tried my level best to stay as impersonal as possible .

One warm afternoon as a boring lecture was in progress I and my friend were discussing about the upcoming excursion when we were pulled up by the professor and promptly thrown out of the class. I had been a studious kid all through my school days that I was never even reprimanded forget being sent out of class and this was a new experience. Well for everything there is always a first time.  Rather that showing any remorse I walked out of the class nonchalantly which was quite surprising considering the background from which I came from. Since it was really hot outdoors we continued our discussion just outside the class room the Professor wasn’t amused by this.  He called us back and made us stand on either corner of the room, boy! That was embarrassing and the worst part of the whole thing was that the guy who actually started this conversation was sitting in our bench and attending lecture as if nothing had happened. This was during the first year of college and I don’t know if my classmates do remember but I will never forget this.

Moving on this was the first excursion that we as a class were undertaking to a well known amusement park in Kerala. As most of us were day scholars hardly anyone knew each other very well and everyone was keenly looking forward to it . I being one of the tour co-ordinators did not want to leave any stone unturned and went the entire distance to ensure that everything went smoothly. Finally the day dawned and we embarked upon the journey with high spirits.  It was a great journey and everyone had really started to get into the mood of the tour. We reached the amusement park and had a whale of a time over there.  As the day progressed a rumour was doing the rounds that some guys from another college or so had allegedly passed some inappropriate comments on the girl students of our class. This pumped up the guys and everyone was really angry. Towards the end of the day as most of us were savouring a treat by the teachers who accompanied us on the tour a group of our guys went up and thrashed the culprits black and blue ,who at that time were clearly outnumbered and were sitting ducks. Only very few people among us knew about this episode.

As we were moving onto the bus all hell broke loose as the guys had regrouped and started attacking the guys from our tour party. All along I was kept in the dark and I had absolutely no clue as to what was going on. My initial reaction was to retaliate but luckily good sense prevailed and I had the presence of mind to safely get the rest of the group into the bus. I had a torrid time doing this because the majority of our group were girls who were shell shocked to even move. Somehow we managed to get everyone on board and beat a hasty retreat from the amusement park.

Only sometime into the journey did everyone gather their wits and slowly the dust started to settle down. Fortunately there were no broken bones or fallen teeth there were bruises a black eye and minor injuries here and there which were not so serious. Hence we didn’t have to make a pit stop at a hospital on our way back.  If my memory serves me right there was someone who lost his spectacles in the ensuing melee (he later came to me saying that he needed reimbursement for this from the tour fund) .When the whole story was uncovered the girls were pretty pissed off with the guys for their knee jerk reaction. Their view was that the situation could have been handled differently. I vividly remember one of my fiery female classmates asking us if we would react like this every single time someone passed comments on them. As always I had to play the mediator and had a hard time to calm down the flayed tempers.

  

 I guess this incident made our class closer as a group and impressed upon all of us the fact that we really did care for each other. I understood that when something of this sort happens it creases the comfort level of a group of individuals by leaps and bounds .During the course of our college I have countless number of times reiterated to my female classmates that they are lucky to have guys like us as their peers. 

The other day when I happened to see a commercial on TV for Gillete which had a tagline ‘Soldier for Women’ it sparked old memories in me. At a time when the entire country is engaged in a debate on women’s safety I wanted to share this particular incident in college. I dedicate this to all the women who I have come across in my life, Jai Ho.

Check out a similar posts of mine College Diaries #1, College Diaries #3, College Diaries #4, Life has come a full circle

College Diaries #1

DISCLAIMER :This blog is based loosely on my Engineering college days of University College of Engineering, Trivandrum,Kerala during the period 2003-2007 . This has to be viewed as a piece of art rather than a commentary of my college life . At times I have taken the writer's liberty at the same time I have tried my level best to stay as impersonal as possible .

On a hot afternoon in December last year  I was standing at the corridor of my alma mater trying to replicate the feeling that I had more than 5 years ago. Things had changed a lot during the ensuing period I had lost hair put on some weight become older and wiser and no more the student of this institution just an alumni like countless others. What made this place very special to me? I was left wondering. I can't find a single reason. Our college situated in as scenic campus in the outskirts of Trivandrum city had a special place in my life. Here is where I learned the tricks of my trade, where I was transformed from a boy to a man the list is endless the nostalgia is too intense for me to objectively think and write so here I am penning down a few lines about my college life that come randomly to me.

I enjoyed the freedom the place offered to me. After 12 years of schooling College was a welcome change. Qualities that were innate in me until then slowly started to come out and there was every opportunity for me to put that in use and I believe that I had used that to the best of my ability. Placement co-ordinator, Tour co-ordinator, Class representative, Events co-coordinator for a Tech cum Cultural fest, anchoring on stage for numerous events, dance you name them and I have done it all. I take this opportunity to thank all my classmates for their support and encouragement all along without which any of this would not have been possible.  

My description of the college would not get started if I don't paint a picture of the surroundings. A campus which acts as a headquarters for the Kerala University around 5-6 acres plush with lush greenery with lot of trees well paved roads a kind of place where you can take your girlfriend around for a quiet  walk after bunking classes. The college as such was not that great it was the campus that made it sexy.  I remember at the end each hour we used to just take off from our classes roam here and there and come back well into the next hour. The guys in our class rarely occupied the front rows in the class the front rows were either left vacant or were occupied by geeky girls.  We guys had in fact monopolised  the entire back row. Who can forget the getaways that we had after bunking classes Kovalam Beach, Madupara(a rock cave), Kazhakootam beach and many others. I  should not forgot the favourite hangout spot of us was  a pond situated  within the campus called as Haimavathi it was supposedly the source of fresh water for the entire campus and it had stories of its own to tell . At times mostly during the afternoons we would retire to this pond to chill out until the end of college hours it was in fact a regular feature during the final year where we used to bunk the labs every week without fail. I still remember the violent reactions from my friends that it so happened that every guy in the class had an attendance of 20 % for this particular lab while I was the sole guy in the class with 70 % + attendance. It was not that I went to the labs regularly but due to the fact that I was a placement co-ordinator and my teachers were under the impression that I was doing some activity related to that. It was not long before they realised my true colours and I slowly started to get pushed out of the good books of my teachers’ .After I left Trivandrum during my stints in Chennai, Delhi and Mumbai I have always missed the greenery that I was privy to once.  

Well how I can leave off the political activism of our college. Our college campus was the hotbed of student political activity. It was called the Red fort of SFI(Students Federation of India). I still remember vividly the first strike I took part in .It was not as if I was political active or anything but it was just for the feel it. But that one was special it was during my first year in college we had marched to the office of the Joint registrar or something  of the University from one end of the campus to the other end shouting slogans fist pumping and all. My political activism ended there I being the son of a bureaucrat for that matter loathed politics that was the first  and the last time I did  anything like that.  I remember after that picketing as we were walking back to our classes we were all in a jolly mood joking around and chatting excitedly about our first experience when one of our seniors came up and rebuked us for taking things too lightly and how we had to solemnly and silently walk back to our classes. My class had a fair brand of political activists, during our final year the Chairman, Vice Chairperson and Secretary of the College Union were from my class and for that matter our class enjoyed enormous amount of clout in the College. Our final year tour which was a coup of sorts during that time because no final year batch has gone ever for an official tour is a story in itself.

Check out a similar posts of mine Life has come a full circle, College Diaries #2, 

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